Thursday, August 16, 2012

I could hear someone coming...

I could hear someone coming creeping up behind me. I think it was the girl whose birds I killed. Don't get me wrong I’m not a murderer; I'm just hungry; starving in fact. I had to be slinky and speedy to get away from the girl but I was so scared I could barley move a muscle. Suddenly a wave of courage swept over me like a Tsunami and I ran like lightning. But the girl wasn't going to give up that easy. She followed me deep into the woods. I was still running when she finally caught me. She pinned me down to the ground with her dagger at the ready. She was going to kill me for killing her birds; when her expression changed into regret maybe even forgiveness or sorrow. She loosened her grip on the dagger and on me and I finally had a chance to escape. Just as I escaped snow started to fall thick and deep, quickly covering the ground. Of course being a fox I was used to the snow and having to sleep outside during bad weather, but the girl wasn't. I was very worried about her so I changed my path. It wasn’t hard finding her and I soon caught up. I lead her away from the snow and into the forest where the trees are thicker. We soon came to an okay shelter. The girl settled down and was almost instantly asleep and I soon followed her actions. 

My ears pricked up and I awoke with a start because I could hear footsteps. I quickly hid in the bushes my bushy tail just behind me leaving the girl asleep. It was an oldish man and woman coming. They seemed to know the girl picking her up and carrying her away. I followed some distance behind my moves like shadows. The girl woke up and smiled at me. I knew it wouldn’t be long till I saw her again.


  1. This is fabulous! I want to know what happens next. Who is the talented writer /writers?

    1. Hi Jane, thanks so much for commenting on Mia's writing. Some of the phrases make me tingle... "a wave of courage swept over me like a tsunami" stunning year 6 writer!

  2. I like the suspense in this story Mia.
    It is an amazing piece of writing, great work.
    I can spot a spelling mistake, you wrote barley instead of barely.