Monday, September 17, 2012

Looking behind me I saw...


Looking behind me I saw... a dusty shadow advancing. A piercing scream. It’s me. I flee. All seems quiet... My heart beat drops. I sigh in relief. A shiver runs down my spine. I feel chilly breath against my neck. A ghostly figure rises. My heart’s racing again. I scramble away. Now there’s a dreary cell and a ghoulish figure in chains. “Unchain me” it moans. “No way” whispers my trembling voice. Somehow he follows me further into the chamber. Many doors, which one to choose? One creaks open, a light beckons. Sweet relief, laughter, the wonders of Disneyland await. Next time no haunted house.

4 comments:

  1. Congratulations Zara, post number 162 on the 100WC site!
    Mrs K

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello Zara,

    With the growing number of entries in the 100 Word Challenge, a team of volunteers was set up to make sure every entry has a comment from a teacher somewhere in the world. I am a member of Team 100WC. We are each assigned a collection of the entries into the 100WC and your entry is in my group. It was a pleasant surprise to see one of the entries (your number 162 entry) was from a school I know.

    The use of short sentences is an excellent technique for building tension in a story but what a surprise ending. I didn’t expect this to be an adventure into Disneyland’s wonderful Haunted House. I had been wondering what doom awaited. Well done!

    Have you taken some time to look at the entries of anyone from another school and perhaps left a comment for them? The 100WC is a great opportunity to share stories and comments.

    @RossMannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi I'm Charlotte and I go to the school called Biggin Hill Primary School and we are quadblogging with you I really like you piece of writing is English you favourite subject because it's deffinately min!
    Hope that you reply!
    Charlotte

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Charlotte. I think english might be my favourite subject too! It's school holidays here is it holidays where you are?
      Zara

      Delete