Today my family are going camping (boring). We get there and the camping ground is so old and scary. Oh well, I can at least play on my iPod. Oh no, here's trouble, dad walks over and takes it right off me. "Help us set up the tent." I could tell from that sentence that the trip would be boring. After setting up the tent and having tea it's straight to bed. Aaaaaaahhhhhh I wake up in shock to a creepy noise. I take a look outside the tent all I could see we're two red eyes. Closer and closer then out jumps..... My dog! Lucky he looks just as scared as me so I let him in the tent. At least I've got someone that won't tell me what to do.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
All I could see were two red eyes...
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Great job, Billy!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you use the prompt, and I like the happy ending. Your choice to write the story in the present tense makes it very vivid. Congratulations!
Kind regards,
Diethild - 100WC Team
Awesome work Billy!
ReplyDeleteI like how you have included lots of suspense and
Well done Billy, I like how you have lots of suspense and humor in your writing.
ReplyDeleteIs it 100 words?
-Michaela
Well done! I really like how you diskribe the camping trip
ReplyDeleteGreat job billy
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story. I liked how you diskribe it and yours a great humor
Georgia
Hi Billy
ReplyDeleteI like how you used lost of adjectives and humour
Sam
Nice story! I like how you used humor and suspence. I'm just wondering though why was the dog so scared? did a monster attack it or something?
ReplyDeleteJack
Hi Billy
ReplyDeleteAwesome story.
I like the humour you used.
I would like to know how you came up with that idea.
Bridget
Wow Billy that is a very good story i wish it go on on.
ReplyDeleteGracin
Sounds like you won't be going camping again. kurt
ReplyDeleteHi Billy
ReplyDeleteI really liked your story I also liked the adjectives you used. I hope you publish another one hundred word challenge for us. Where did you place in the challenge?
-Josh
Hi Billy
ReplyDeleteI like how you used adjectives.I really enjoyed your story
Brya
Congratulations, Billy.
ReplyDeleteI can see why you have been chose for the 100WC Week 7 Showcase. Well done!
@RossMannell (Team 100WC)
Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia