Thursday, September 20, 2012

100wc

We were just sitting down for dinner when.... our dog starts barking. I look out the window and see a weird looking shadow. I step outside the door. I can hear rustling in the bushes. My heart is pounding out of my ears. I take a peep around the corner of the house. I see the mysterious shadow again. All of the sudden the trash can tips over. I try not to make a sound. If it's a monster it might come after me. I might be it's meal. I start creeping forward again. Deep breathes. I look in the trash and it's a cat. Not so scary.

17 comments:

  1. Fantastic suspense, it really hooked me in. Great sentence lengths, they made your writing really interesting. My advice would be to keep adding descriptive words.

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    1. Thanks Room1. I will take your advice on adding desciptive words.

      Laura

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  2. Great story Laura!
    I like the suspense and eeriness to it.
    Well done, I might write one as well.
    -Michaela

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    1. Hi I am Josh from Biggin Hill Primary what is your best sport.

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    2. Hi Josh, Biggin Hill Primary.
      My favorite sport is Cricket. It is a enjoyable sport for both boys and girls.
      -Michaela, St Mary's Mosgiel

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  3. Great story Laura!
    Great story and suspence.
    Well done.
    -Nikolas

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  4. Hi I'm JJ from biggin hill priary school and I cnt wait to chat and that is a really good story.

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  5. Great story I like the suspence and the short scentences you used by Tom. :)

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  6. Hi there,
    I'm Oliver from Biggin Hill Primary,nice poem Lauara quite creepy at the biggining and it's funny at the end!:)

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  7. Really good story fantastic suspence good work laura
    -Reece

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  8. Hi Im George from Biggin Hill Primary school I like the story it is funny I liked it I am looking forward to looking more at your school
    george

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  9. Hello im Josh G from BHPS just to say cool milk bott;e igloo> :)

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  10. Great story Laura.

    From Harry
    Biggin Hill

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  11. I love your story Laura

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  12. Great story.Amazing suspence to such a simple thing like that!

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  13. Great story Laura. I Liked the suspense.

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  14. hi great story really good description.

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